(Read the 12:30 post before this).
I couldn't relax so I just went back over to visit him again. His breathing is still about the same. His heart is working ridiculously hard to power his lungs to give him air (150 bpm). His lung capacity at this time is very small (probably somewhere around 8-12%), so one of his full breaths is equal to about 1/10 of ours. From my view, it looks horrible and uncomfortable, but hopefully it's hurting me more than it is him. We can only use his expressions as signs that he is comfortable, because we aren't promised another conversation with him. His eyebrows were relaxed which is a good sign that he's not in any pain. If his eyebrows look strained in any way, it makes it evident to us that he's in some sort of discomfort. The nurse said that she can't promise anything, whether we will see him awake again or not, but from how it's looking right now, we probably won't be able to "be" with him anymore. The reason is because if he does wake up, the chances are that he will realize how short his breath is and panic, which starts a downward cycle for him. The more comfortable he is, the better. I gave his night nurse my phone number and she will call me if she sees any signs of life from him, even if he just opens his eyes for a second.
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ReplyDeleteDear Alex,
ReplyDeleteThank you for doing such a great job with keeping us abreast with your dad. By checking in frequently has helped us cope with some of the sadness. I lost my father at 56 years young as well to cancer. To most of us the name father means love but losing a good friend is new to me and I have found it to be painful especially for the ones that can't be there with him. Your dad & I reconnected our friendship in the early part of this year after thirty-some yrs. I am thankful for hearing his words and sharing our stories in daily e-mails, usually started out as "Hey You". He is very proud of his boys and the pictures you & others have shared here are truly a testament to that. It is wonderful that you shared them. He has fought such a courageous battle and that is just what I would expect from him. It is wonderful to see how proud you all are of him.
God Bless the Pizalla family. You are all amazing.
Many thoughts and prayers are being said from all that love him.
Sincerely,
Dianne
Dear Alex,
ReplyDeleteI met you and Drew at a few family gatherings at your Uncle Rob's and got to know your dad through many such gatherings both at Rob's and at your grandmother's homes. You are an amazing young man and have shown such grace, maturity and most of all love in the postings you've put on this blog.
Although the past few weeks have been incredibly difficult for all of you, the time that you've been able to share and the peace it has utimately given both your dad and all of you has also been a blessing. What a tremendous amount of love that has surrounded all of you during this time! Your dad has so many loved ones that have been pouring out their prayers, strength and love to all of you that it has sustained him in these days. Clearly, you are and should be proud of the man that he is and the wonderful way he's touched each of us.
May God bless you and your family with strength and understanding.
Most sincerely,
Heidi Riesenberger